There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's blow job season.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
