We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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