I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
