I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My vagina is very pro this idea
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