I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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