i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
