I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize