Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i would punch a child for taco bell
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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