I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
