If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
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then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
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Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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