So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
