You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
