it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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