no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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