So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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