M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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