the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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