I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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