it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
