two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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