You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
