I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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