Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
