My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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