if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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