She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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