She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
