8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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