I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
what day is it and did you see me today?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
