Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
