He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
