North Korea, Best Korea!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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