Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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