i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
