dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
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I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
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You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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