Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
