your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
