It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
