is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize