guys are not supposed to queef...right?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
