If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
