question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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