its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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