Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
