that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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