I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
