I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
