she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
