can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Pooping to opera.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
