Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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