i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
