Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
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He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
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Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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