I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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