Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
