If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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