I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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