Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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