Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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