YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
