Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
A bitchslap is in order.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
