She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
