I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Life is so much better after having sex.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
