i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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