I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
